why I AM and AM NOT a feminist

So that’s a first: I’ve written a very personal post. There won’t be any travel guides here, no pictures of my cute dog and not even a recipe. Just me, myself and my opinion on something. Feminism – wow, couldn’t have chosen a more cliché topic and a more controversial one. So if you don’t give a damn about that, now’s the time to get out of here. Thank you and bye bye! 

(note: I am obviously not a sociologist, neither did I spent hours looking through academic literature to write any of this. I have never been very much interested in studying feminist theories in depth but feel entitled to share my opinions on the basis of well, being a woman.)

I was raised in a very strong feminine energy for a great disapproval of my sociopath father. But guess what: the more he fought against it, the stronger each of us got so here’s one to a perfect irony. By the time I became an independent adult I was hurt and shamed one too many times, seen and experienced way too much for a little girl, and as a result, I’ve grown up with absolutely no trust or real appreciation for men in general, but a strong belief that whatever I need in life, I can provide for myself. Amen.

I love all the women in my family and since they’ve made up for 95% of it for most of my life, this appreciation for a strong and independent female lead is the only one I’ve grown up with. For some reason, none of the men in our lives ever stuck around and the ones that passed by are mostly not worth to be mentioned. The men that did stay and who I’ve grown to love were rather on the mellow side letting themselves to be completely outgrown by our personalities. Real girl power energy.

Considering all this, there are not as many things in my life I feel stronger about than female empowerment. With all my heart, I’ve always fought any signs of discrimination and inequality and am fully committed to do so for the rest of my life. I’m not having any man’s crap and so will not my daughters if I ever have any.

So you might be thinking: sounds pretty feminist to me, but does it really? 

I’ll be honest with you, I have a problem with the very word feminism since I can’t understand how it refers to equality in itself. Don’t get me wrong but if a racist is someone who believes in superiority of his race, it makes feminism sound like a superior thing as well. It might be perhaps due to a very unfortunate grammar but I definitely don’t believe in superiority of my sex. All I believe in and fight for if needed is equality. Hell yeah you ain’t better than me! But you ain’t worse neither. 

Talking about equality though, I have to make myself clear: I do not actually believe for men and women to be equal in every aspect. I strongly believe we should have equal rights and opportunities but the world IS built on our differences and hail glory to that. 

Even more so, I feel confident enough in my femininity to acknowledge the inequality for men when needed (1 year of maternity leave? I don’t know a man who would not be happy to take on a part of this!). 

Feminist narrative is also not one I feel encouraged to be part of – I am not a victim and strongly refuse to be portrayed as one. I mean, you know this story – if I tell you not to think about a pink elephant, you ARE thinking about a pink elephant whether you want it or not. Highlighting how vulnerable and victimised we are will never let us move forward but only creates an endless limbo of disadvantage. Hey ladies, time to change the narrative! 

Lastly, what’s up with a modern image of a feminist – you don’t have to be a successful businesswoman or a single-and-ready-to-mingle 20-something year old to call yourself a feminist. A married woman, a stay at home mum with 3 kids or a teenage girl hopelessly in love with Brad Pitt can also be as strong and independent as any other woman, can’t she? An independent woman can wear pink, paint her nails and care about putting her make up on to look nice for a hot date on Friday. 

Hell yeah, she can! 

So, let’s say, I’m proud to be an equalist and so is every man in my current life, for which i am eternally grateful.

Peace & love,
Maja

and so we got married

I have always been repelled by doing things how they should be done. If you’re following a recipe step by step there is no room left for creativity and excellence that comes with it. Even though I AM a master planner and do have problems with spontaneity (all of you who know me, it’s the time now to get the smirk off your faces!), I am fully dedicated to doing everything my own way. Mine, and nobody else’s. 

And so we got married. 

Made a decision one day with no proposal and no fancy yes under fireworks. Dropped the papers, bought the rings and the dress in one weekend and said oui in the mairie exactly a month later.

Confirming our love to each other could not be more simple. 

As we closed the day, Thomas’ grandmother read a beautiful part on marriage, the very same one that was read when her first daughter was getting married almost 30 years ago.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. 

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

summertime bliss: garden barbecue and family time in Poland

Don’t tell me that global warming does not exist when it is now over 30°C in Poland and barely 18°C in France. Last weekend I was wearing a winter sweater here in Paris and let me remind you – we’re approaching end of June. Are we?! 

So we went on a short summer holidays. From France. To Poland. And it was perfect. As always 🙂 

And as a bonus, a recipe for my favourite summer salad at the bottom of the post!

For the favourite summer salad with feta and pomegrante:
full credit to my Polish master: Kwestia Smaku

– 1 pomegrante, seeded
– handful of salad
– 250g of cherry tomatoes
– 100g of feta cheese
– 1 small onion
– honey-mustard vinegrette: 4 tbsp of olive oil, 3 tbsp of honey, 2tbsp of lemon juice, salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

If you care at all about a nice presentation fill in the bowl with salad leaves at the bottom, then cover with cherry tomatoes, onion, small pieces of feta cheese and pomegrante seeds. Pour over the vinegrette and enjoy the summer!

here’s to a gourmand new year: homemade fettucine al pomodoro

Because it’s no news that spending quality time with our loved ones is the best we could ever wish for. Add a bit of travel and a table covered with good food and you’ll have at least two happy faces looking at you (Thomas and Maja, in case you’re wondering what I’m taking about). Here’s to a slow and gourmand, happy new year filled with love and appreciation. 

Having said all the above, let’s agree – homemade pasta is a bit of a fuss but nobody can tell me it’s not worth it. And that it’s not the best thing in the world. The recipe in itself is as easy as it gets (100g flour + 1 egg = serving for 1 person) but a proper pasta machine would be rather handy (otherwise, good luck for rolling the dough and cutting extra thin stripes by yourself!).

Serve with whatever you like: simple aglio e olio, cacio e pepe or, as we did, homemade tomato coulis and Sicilian parmeggiano. Buon appetito!

In the meantime, somebody is always napping…

hello fall!

It’s really hard to get excited about fall, especially in Paris with its never-ending rain, grey sky, and low temperatures. There’s something however, that I’m really looking forward to thinking of this time of the year: fall seasonal treats. I don’t know if there’s anybody really, who’s not smiling within about pumpkin spice, hot-baked tart or a plate of pasta with fresh mushrooms… Here’s an idea: pumpkin pancakes with maple baked pears for a Sunday brunch. Yes! 

Ingredients:

For the pancakes:
– 1 cup pumpkin puree (I baked a big batch of pumpkin before and stored it in the fridge)
– 2 eggs
– pinch of salt
– 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
– 4 tablespoons of almond flour
– cream cheese or whipped cream, maple syrup, cinnamon and chopped almonds for garnish

For baked pears:
– few ripe pears (as much as you feel like! I got 2 per person)
– maple syrup
– cinnamon and bunch of hazelnuts for garnish

Instructions:
Beat the eggs in a big bowl until smooth, slowly adding the pumpkin puree until all combined. Add the rest of ingredients and make sure the batter is smooth and not too lumpy. Preheat the frying pan with a bit of coconut oil and fry the pancakes until golden on both sides (2 tablespoons of batter per pancake). Stock on a plate and garnish with whatever you like – I chose a bit of cream cheese & honey mixture, cinnamon, maple syrup and a bit of chopped walnuts and it was just perfect! 
For the pears, preheat the oven to 180°C and line the pears (peeled and cut in half) on the parchment paper. Sprinkle with maple syrup, cinnamon and hazelnuts and bake for around 15-20 minutes or until all soft and fragrant.  

meet Buddy

So it’s been 2 years now since we first officially announced that one day we’ll get a dog. A big one, Bullmastiff most preferably, and we’ll call him Jabba (yes, like the galaxy’s most powerful gangster) – we actually decided on this when we first met 5 years ago. Not an easy goal to achieve though, living in a rent apartment, in Paris, working, travelling… But the big day came when we made the decision and then we saw HIM. He’s nothing of a galaxy gangster but he’s just a perfect little love ball and he’s here to stay. Say hello to Buddy!

august

August was all about holidays, travelling and sun. That’s it. From Paris to Tokyo, from a buddhist temple at the foot of Mount Koya to the beach of Cadaques, we did it all and it was unforgettable. Slightly jetlagged but incredibly satisfied, we’re ready for the next year to come. 

july

With the big trip coming up (we’re leaving for Japan today!) July was all about enjoying summer in Paris. Well, as much of summer as we could get since Parisian weather this year is rather capricious… Anyway, after blissful slow days of July, the big adventure of August is coming up!

good morning sunshine: Hubert the dog & mini peach cobblers

I don’t need to mention once again how special weekend mornings are for us: lazy time spent on just enjoying the time together. And last weekend it was three of us since Hubert the dog joined us for the few sunny days! This charming little love ball only made us want to get one of our own pretty soon…

For a perfect sunny morning like this I decided to go with a treat. Peaches are still in season now and what could be better than eating them hot from the oven and topped with ice cream? For our mini versions, I adjusted the recipe from The Best Peach Cobbler by the Life in the Lighthouse to make it gluten free and less sugary and it turned out just perfect. 

Ingredients:
(the dough will cover 6-8 mini cobblers or 1 full-sized one)

– 1 peach / person
– sprinkle of maple syrup
– 1/2 cup softened butter
– 3 tablespoons of brown sugar
– 1 cup of gluten free flour blend (I use rice + corn + potato + almond in equal proportions)
– 1 teaspoon baking powder
– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
– 1 egg
– pinch of salt, nutmeg and cinnamon

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 180°C. While heating, peel and slice the peaches, stack them into small ramekins and drizzle with tiny bit of maple syrup. Set aside. In a bowl, mix the softened butter with sugar, add flour with the other powdery ingredients (baking powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon) mixing all the time. At the end, add the egg and vanilla extract and finish mixing until all well incorporated.
Cover the peaches with a layer of the dough – it should be thick and sticky so you can help yourself with your fingers (make sure to cover the whole surface). Bake for 35 minutes until golden brown. Eat warm covered with a scoop of vanilla ice cream! 

Chamomile tea, recently the favourite

june

Not being really planned like this, June stood for getting away from the Parisian hussle and enjoying our time in the wilderness. We spent a wonderful weekend in the French Alps hiking even though the rainy wetaher, we made a short stop in Poland to appeciate the summertime fields and meadows, and at last jumped into a train for a walk on the seaside of Normandy. 

See the month of June captured in a few beautiful pictures…